Before I had children I thought the best part of being a mom would be the cuddling and love. The road trips with the children happily singing in the back seat. The constant chorus of “Oh you are the best mom ever!” Dressing my little darlings up in cute outfits, and their saying “Mom you have the best taste ever! I wish you could pick out my clothes always!” Then there would be the help around the house, the “Let us unload the dishwasher, you do too much for us already!”.
Then after I had children I found out the real best part of being a parent. Revenge.
Here I am having revenge on my children at a party we attended together while attending The Amazing Meeting. TAM is a wonderful conference held every year where scientists, celebrities and an oddly large number of magicians get together to talk about promoting critical thinking. However, sometimes, if you play your cards right, you can horrify your children in public. In fact, if you are lucky, you can humiliate them as much as they humiliated you when they made Barbie mattresses out of sanitary napkins, and showed your mother in law. “Look grandma! Mommy had a whole box of Barbie beds in the bathroom!”
It was a party in a suite, and I was there with my children and their dad. So the girls weren’t in any danger. Honestly it was another couple of hours before the cops were called to break it up. (true). Someone had brought from a bakery in San Francisco (who would have guessed San Francisco?) tasty coconut treats that looked rather a penis of a size anyone could appreciate. What to do when you are in a room with your young daughters and you notice California penis treats? Thankfully someone with a camera captured their reaction. Payback is a b!tch sometimes, but it’s what makes those long hours of labor worth it.