Before I had children I thought the best part of being a mom would be the cuddling and love. The road trips with the children happily singing in the back seat. The constant chorus of “Oh you are the best mom ever!” Dressing my little darlings up in cute outfits, and their saying “Mom you have the best taste ever! I wish you could pick out my clothes always!” Then there would be the help around the house, the “Let us unload the dishwasher, you do too much for us already!”.
Then after I had children I found out the real best part of being a parent. Revenge.
Here I am having revenge on my children at a party we attended together while attending The Amazing Meeting. TAM is a wonderful conference held every year where scientists, celebrities and an oddly large number of magicians get together to talk about promoting critical thinking. However, sometimes, if you play your cards right, you can horrify your children in public. In fact, if you are lucky, you can humiliate them as much as they humiliated you when they made Barbie mattresses out of sanitary napkins, and showed your mother in law. “Look grandma! Mommy had a whole box of Barbie beds in the bathroom!”
It was a party in a suite, and I was there with my children and their dad. So the girls weren’t in any danger. Honestly it was another couple of hours before the cops were called to break it up. (true). Someone had brought from a bakery in San Francisco (who would have guessed San Francisco?) tasty coconut treats that looked rather a penis of a size anyone could appreciate. What to do when you are in a room with your young daughters and you notice California penis treats? Thankfully someone with a camera captured their reaction. Payback is a b!tch sometimes, but it’s what makes those long hours of labor worth it.
Size alone doesn’t matter,taste is also important!
The therapy bills were worth it, proud of mom as usual!
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Two Different Girls 
One of my favorite TAM moments, and I might add that Kitty is quite “skilled,” and demonstrated those skills for everyone. Oh, and those macaroons were the best I’ve ever had. Once you go chocolate penis macaroon, you don’t go back.
it was DARK CHOCOLATE. I couldn’t finish eating it, it was more than I could handle.
I remember you “handling it” quite well.
These pictures were the first I ever saw of Kitty. I knew right then that she and I could be friends.
Noel, you are my inspiration….I seriously just bought some clothes thinking “these are Noel HAPPY CLOTHES!” Plus, she is proof you don’t have to be in your 20’s to “have fun”
That was a great party! Who knew such a small balcony could hold that many people? Does anybody remember where those macaroons came from?
For some reason I thought Grayman brought them. Or at least, he was handing them out during the chocolate tasting
Yes, Grayman bought them from a renowned chocolatier in San Francisco, I think.
ROFL
I don’t think I’ve evolved enough to share a similar moment with my children. Plus, I have a wicked gag reflex. 😉
This was my first TAM, and I still didn’t know anyone very well. I couldn’t quite bring myself to eat it in front of anyone. I’ve gotten over that, though.
You only had a CHOCOLATE penis?!
They were actually really good and the best part is I managed to completely eat one without anyone taking my picture doing so!
IIRC, this was the party where Christopher Hitchens told the “joke that never ended”. Literally.
That was a “unique” party in so many ways. And while Hotel Security eventually DID show up it really was pretty tame as Vegas parties go….
Reblogged this on Yankee Skeptic and commented:
Thought I would share one of my favorite TAM memories. My children claim they still haven’t recovered.
correct