Vast Conspiracy against Women: A Lack of Pockets

Kind of clothes I prefer for work. This brand has inside coat pockets. They aren’t sold in US any more!

I thought I was the only one who keeps her iPhone in her bra, but it turns out I’m not. Seriously, WTF is UP with these clothing manufacturers that don’t put pockets in women’s clothing? Especially business-type women’s clothing? I know my grandmother said never put things in your pocket because it just makes your hips look bigger (and would REMOVE the pockets from my pants if she had to alter them anyway), but where the hell am I supposed to carry my phone if I already have a pen, and maybe a file folder or two, and my security card key, and maybe even my car keys? I can’t carry my PURSE from room to room when I’m at the office!

I believe that lack of pockets in women’s apparel is one of the reasons that women hit this glass ceiling and can’t make it to the VP corner office. It’s because we look STUPID with a handful of stuff, and then have to grope around in our blouse looking for our phone when it starts playing Darth Vadar’s theme from Star Wars. Don’t tell me to try the vibrate mode, I already did. Darth Vadar looks less weird that vibrating boobies. That’s not the job I’m bucking for.

They don’t NEED pockets for work, you see.

I have some of the suits with pockets.  One of them I bought almost 20 years ago and I still wear it, just changing up the shoes and blouses to look fresh and contemporary. It’s getting shiny around the seams, and now the jacket is only good to wear with jeans. More recent suits and business attire will sometimes have outside pockets, but NEVER have inside pockets like men’s suits.

I suspect there are men sitting in little rooms in New York and Paris and Milan, not only plotting to take away contraception from women, but also are asking advice from the Iranian government on how to block us from engineering school.

Maybe they should go back to long hobble skirts and binding feet! Then we can’t run away!
I needed to bring this to your attention. It’s a public service announcement!  YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

You’re welcome.

Marlene Dietrich has a place for HER phone.

Categories: Feminism, Work and Jobs

Tags: , , , , ,

23 replies

  1. I think a lot of women’s clothes are very stupid. For example, womens’ shoes aren’t shaped like feet. The pocket thing seems crazy to me. But in the end, designers will make what people will buy, and there are a lot of women who won’t wear pockets because they’re unshapely.

    I think you should sew your own pockets on.

  2. Evelyn was thrilled to discover a secret pocket in her MIT PhD robe. It holds a bottle of water and a kindle but not a tablet.

    • See, that’s the idea. Sewing pockets, like Jeff suggested, is one way, but working them into the lining of the jacket isn’t that easy. And they should just DO IT
      Really, I do carry my phone in my bra sometimes!

  3. Exactly! I have been complaining about the lack of pockets for years.

    It’s not just business clothes, it’s jeans too. Most of my dress pants have zero pockets. The blazers don’t, either, and that’s just bizarre.

    I only started carrying a purse in summer because jeans don’t come with pockets or they come with pockets so tiny putting so much as a dollar bill in one is iffy. Jackets got pockets in winter so that’s good.

    Personally, if women’s pants came with pockets, pockets the size of pockets in men’s pants, I wouldn’t carry a purse at all.

  4. It’s a valid complaint. My Mom, who in later years emulate Katherine Hepburn and wore pants with pockets, always insisted that many women’s clothes were designed by men who did not like woman. Looking at high fashion magazines I would have to agree with her.

  5. Maybe women’s clothes designers assume that women always carry purses? Am I sexist for thinking that?

    • A lot of business women don’t carry purses, because they don’t want to carry two things (purse and briefcase). But even in the office, when I go from floor to floor to see different people, I need to take my phone along because I need to be available to my operations. And then I have the card key, made to clip on pockets. And sometimes a pen and a notebook. Everything, in my hand. I wouldn’t carry a purse to another floor for a 20 minute meeting.

  6. How about a fanny pack? I always carried my phone and earlier my pager in my bra when I was working. Mom said pockets full of stuff ruin the shape of the pants too, but I used them. I haven’t carried a purse since 2004, but then I haven’t left the house either! My husband carries my d.l. and medicare card in his wallet now.

  7. Here you go. An acquaintenance of mine, aka @HealthyAddict, pointed me to this

    • Link does NOT work! And stuffing your bra full of phones, coins, wallet, paper clips, hair pins etc. looks professional?? I”m sure your coworkers must love your bumpy-bulky boobs look. Instead of protesting nonsense like your murdering abortionist rights, get off your rass and go picket outside Kmart or Walmart and DEMAND POCKETS.

      • I guess that company may have gone out of business since this piece was posted eight years ago.

        Also: personally my noons don’t look lumpy, but I really don’t think my coworkers should be looking at my breasts. I won’t picket WalMart or Kmart because (a) I don’t buy clothes there; (b) they buy from low-end manufacturers and probably don’t design what they sell; and (c) there are good quality pieces you can find within pockets.

        The article was tongue in cheek. Perhaps it was too subtle for you.

  8. This is such an excellent post! I hate the non-pocket thing. HATE it. Also, they don’t NEED to look unshapely: if they do, then this is the designer’s fault. Goodness, they can design a rocket to go to the bleeding moon and they can’t design a shapely inside pocket for a woman’s blazer???? Or a dress?? *jumps up and down in rage* Anyway, five years ago I did my back in and was in awful pain, and then I didn’t want to carry anything on my shoulders for about a year, not even a teensy handbag (or what Americans call a purse). So I wore an ‘urban utility belt’ (; I still use this for travelling and suchlike and although it is mega-useful and fits phone/ wallet/ kindle / keys, it is not the most professional-looking item. It could be, I suppose, if everybody wore it, but as it is, one does look rather odd. *stomps foot*

  9. Hi all smart women (& men) on this thread — this is an excellent post and TOTALLY agree!! That’s actually my mission, to help all of us NOT have to wait for the clothing designers to get a clue and put more function into fashion. I had a (rather embarrassing) moment 5+ yrs ago which made me decide to DO something. I’d accidentally dropped a spare tampon on the gym floor and didn’t notice for ~10 min…& I was the only female there at the time. Nice. *gah!* I actually DID have pockets in my workout pants that day, BUT they FAILED (was doing my flat bench flyes and that little ob just rolled on out).. So… I spent a year & a half designing and developing a handy solution so we can stop the madness & avoid the bullshit. Yay!
    My patented PortaPocket is us gals’ (even guys’) answer to the pocket-challenged outfits we all have, and helps us lose the worry… not our stuff. I say KEEP that chic purse/bag for the incidentals…but keep the things you REALLY need ON your person and OUT of your purse. That way you’ll always have your ID, cash, cards, keys, phone and things like a tampon or insulin pump, inhaler or EpiPen (etc) when you need it NOW. And no babysitting that bag or wasting mental energy about where your important things are at any time. You KNOW cars and lockers get broken into all the time… best not to risk it if there are other ways.
    Try me out and see how you like! I’ll offer a free ministrap (~$10 value) for any order on my site at when you simply write “GeekGoddess freebie” in the comments section… any time in November 2012.
    I would be endlessly grateful if you might help me spread the word…
    let’s stand up for common sense!

  10. AMEN!! Actually I find you can suit jackets with inside pockets here in the UK, unfortunately you need to re-mortgage the house to buy them:)

  11. I’m a manager. I have a hook thingy to attach my keys to my belt and when i go on my break and want to buy coffee, I have to stick the change in my bra. Why? Because most of the work pants I have only have fake decorative pockets. Some of them can be cut open to reveal real – though tiny – pockets, but many simply have nothing more than a sewn on pocket pattern. Meaning these guys actually thought a pocket would look pretty but thought being handy too wasn’t a priority. Dafuq, guys?

  12. Amen. I learned last year that even my tried and true retailer for outdoors and casual pants, LLBean had been corrupted. Even their jeans now contain only half-sized front pockets. These give the illusion of providing a safe place to put your cell phone, until you sit down. Then it, or whatever else you’re carrying besides tissues, pops out.
    As for professional clothing, I wish Joseph Banks had kept up the women’s line they started in the 1980’s. They provided well-made, -designed, and -tailored women’s suits which–wait for it–had an INSIDE jacket pocket for women, strategically placed just BELOW the bust. Perfect. Unfortunately, enough women didn’t discover them in time, I guess. They dropped the women’s line and returned to only selling men’s clothes.

  13. I’ve created a Facebook page for women’s pockets! Like us please as we attempt to change the way designers look at women’s clothing. Only when they realize the demand for functional clothing will they start manufacturing the clothing we want. Twitter: @womenspockets

  14. Thank you! My shorts have faux pockets. Wtf?

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