Secret of a happy marriage? Marry someone with a mom that is as bad a cook as you are.

My husband grew up around horses.  He spent many years showing horses, and those of you that love and own horses know they are a labor of love, but labor none the less.

He and his family spent much of their time caring for and showing the horses.  That left little time for cooking.  My own mother and grandmother are excellent cooks, but I have a back injury from childhood that makes standing for long periods of time hard.  That’s my excuse at least for never learning how to cook.

When I went to visit my husband’s family for the first time I was served simple meals.  I was used to being spoiled with fancy things like gravy with my meat, but took note that my husband found this fare just fine.

My husband, when asked by me what his favorite meal was, informed me he liked the “Hungry Man Meatloaf Dinner”.  He had been raised on TV dinners.  You know the ones if you are the right age.  Metal wonders that I was only fed if a babysitter was coming over.  It was felt a babysitter could heat up a meal.  I loved them, at age 8, though picking the peas out that had spilled over into the brownie dessert was a problem.  At around age 12 my palette matured enough that I figured out  these meals were truly awful, and would choose even a  can of soup over a TV dinner.

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That is a TV table. You ate your TV dinner off of the TV table. Dress nice also. Yes this is how we were raised.

My husband would probably still eat the entire “Hungry Man” line.  He doesn’t have to, as I discovered appliances that cook for you.

Right now I am cooking a roast in the crock pot.  My husband complimented me saying “What is that delicious smell?  I love your cooking so much!”  Is it truly cooking if you plop a frozen roast into a crock pot and pour a bottle of BBQ sauce over it? I like to think it is.

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Crock Pots should be up for sainthood. Dump stuff in, out comes dinner. How is it done? Magic?

I have a rice cooker, you throw in rice and water and push a button.  Then go watch cat videos on Youtube.  I have a steamer, you put in water, place veggies in top and push a button.  It goes DING when it is done cooking so I can know to take a rest from all this hard work.

I like to think I assemble.  I am the person that uses all those appliances other people get as gifts and never use.  If it cooks and has a button, I want it.  I will use it.

My husband brags about my cooking abilities.  Then again, he appreciates it if I roll crescent rolls from a tube around hot dogs and bake them.  He actually likes rolls out of a tube, and would probably nominate the inventor for a Nobel Prize if he could.

I have to admit also that when I bought cookie dough from a tube, and baked them up fresh, he was so happy to have “REAL HOME MADE” cookies (and not cookies from a package) that he hugged me.  He still does when I come home with a tube of cookie dough and say “Oh look, it has orange and black sprinkles in it for Halloween!”

My husband can also cook.  His favorite meal is Chili Magic, where you dump one can of chili fixings, one can of diced tomatoes and brown ground beef.  It’s actually quite good and a meal we’ve both had compliments on.

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I can honestly recommend this to anyone. It makes a great chili. You can add hot sauce if you wish, but even people that know how to cook compliment me on my chili. It also is great for vegan guests. The tofu ground beef tastes great in this, and people can’t tell it’s tofu.

He can also make hamburgers.  Sometimes, he’s quite creative and puts BBQ sauce on top instead of ketchup.  When I was on bed rest once, he made these two meals happily, alternating hamburgers and chili for a week before I begged him to go buy me a sandwich and salad from Panera Bread.

So, the crock pot is putting out delicious smells, the rice cooker is bubbling away and the steamer is finishing the broccoli.  I am a gourmet chef to this man with low standards.



Categories: Family, Food

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

3 replies

  1. When I was in the Air Force I cooked a dinner for a lady I was dating. I am NOT a gourmet cook and it was decent (not a TV Dinner) but nothing fancy. She ate it all and then remarked, “Gee, you cook just like my Mom.” Never figured out if it was a compliment or not, but always thought that was what the newly married guy was supposed to say to his bride.

  2. Sadly, my MIL was a home ec major in college…yes, you used to be able to get a degree in home ec. She cooked, and baked, and made quilts, and knit, and kept a perfectly clean house. My mother, on the other hand, cooked without salt, had seventy-five half finished projects strewn about the sewing room, and only cleaned if we had company coming over. I was screwed from the get go. My solutions are thus: get most of our meals at a prep-your-meals-from-our-recipe place, hire a cleaning service, and carry on the tradition of half finished projects.

  3. I have all the aforementioned gadgets and then some my favourite is the soup maker though I have yet to find a way to avoid peeling veg before making the soup

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