My husband and I met when we were very young. I was 17, he was 18. Over the following years we dated and kept in touch. Eventually we did what we always knew we would. We got married. Problem is, while we are more mature and have grown up relationships with others, our own relationship is eternally stuck in the teenage years. We fight in a “sez you” manner. We once had an epic New Jersey Cheetos battle (in our car with the sun roof open) while stuck in traffic. There were some concerns about which of us had read the map incorrectly. This incorrect map readinghad lead to us being stuck in traffic. A large bag of Cheetos was handy. Things got ugly. An officer of the law, dealing with the traffic, had to come over to break things up. He pointed out Cheetos flying through a sun roof onto the highway are considered litter. The fine was much larger than one would imagine for a state as smelly and dirty as New Jersey.
Still, we are proof that teenage love, while immature, can be lasting. Part of our relationship has been trying to fool each other. I blame this on the fact that he has one sister, and I have two brothers. Often we treat each other more as we would treat a siblings rather than “soul mates”. Keeping a straight face, while telling a whopper of a lie, should be impossible after being married over 25 years. I will admit we have had to become more creative, but after all these years we consider ourselves professionals.
Last Wednesday was a beautiful sunny day. March usually means we have a foot of snow in the yard, but this year we have had unusual 70 degree weather. We were both raking leaves instead of shoveling snow. My husband (who I refer to online as “Pool Boy”) was working in the back yard while I was working in the front. I look up, and see him running toward me. He grabs my arm and says “Get in the house FAST”. He pulls me inside and breathlessly says, “There is a bear in the back yard!” My first thought, is “I need to get my camera NOW!” A bear in the back yard is rare, but not unknown. We live in a heavily wooded area, and behind our house are acres of undisturbed forest. Our property is usually not populated by bears, but male bears, looking for mates, sometimes pass through during the Spring. We know they are on the way to the local bear singles bar. My assumption was the unusual warm weather had awoken the bears from hibernation earlier than usual.
Some miracle allowed me to find my camera within moments. Pool Boy kept saying “Keep quiet, don’t scare it” as we slowly approached our back door with the large glass window. He carefully closed the side door, which we had opened to let in air. “We don’t want the bear to be able to get in” he whispered. I held up the camera and looked. I softly said “where is the bear?” He pointed outside .
“It’s right there, can’t you see it! I was raking leaves and there it was!” I looked deeper into the woods, turned to him and shook my head. “There” he whispered again, only this time he pointed his finger down to the step in front of the door.
Sure enough, there was a bear. A small bear, from the childhood of my now-grown children. A plastic bear, part of a large zoo of animals my children had played with in the back yard. Obviously this bear had been left behind. He had discovered the bear while raking leaves from between some bushes.
My husband was thrilled. He had the joy of getting my heart pumping. He knew he had totally fooled me, as I stood by the back door camera in hand and dreams of You Tube on my mind. Our unwritten rule, that you can’t really tell an outright lie, had been followed. He had seen a bear in the backyard. We both had a good laugh. Still, this means I have to start planning my next “got you”. There is love and romance, and then there is revenge.
- Glendale Residents Warned About Hungry Bear (losangeles.cbslocal.com)
- Smokey in the boys’ room (csmonitor.com)
- The Janitor Who Hacked Cheetos (latino.foxnews.com)
- Woman says she buried husband in back yard (local10.com)