Worst Christmas Sweater Ever? Possibly!

By Kitty Lapin Agile on December 5, 2013 • ( 0 )

This gang needs HR fast

I was going through my closet, changing out the polar fleece for the tshirts, when I found the Christmas sweater. Every time I clean out my closet I pull out the Christmas sweater and put it in a pile to go to charity. Somehow it always ends up back in the closet.

The theme is Looney Tunes. I hope Warner Brothers gives Pepe some much needed HR training. Mistletoe is no excuse for sexual harassment!

I smell a lawsuit for Pepe!

Tweetie may seem sweet, but like a terrorist from a third world nation, has lit the suicide bomb that is Tweetie’s “present” to the cat. It actually took me a couple of holidays (yes I wore this sweater in public) to actually see it was a bomb, and that Tweetie didn’t have diarrhea of some sort. My excuse is when you only wear an article of clothing once a year, you aren’t as familiar with it as you should be.

Nothing says “Happy Birthday Jesus” like a bomb!

It’s probably been over 5 years since I’ve worn the sweater. I wore it to the annual neighborhood holiday ornament swap for years. I quit going to the neighborhood swap when the $10 ornament cost limit was thrown out.

The swap has basically become who can bring the fanciest, most exclusive ornament. When I donated a Hallmark ornament with Snoopy wrapped in lights (the lights worked!) and ended up with a hand blown Bavarian limited edition glass bell with sliver clapper, I knew I just wasn’t getting into the spirit of things. The spirit being “I earn a whole lot more money than you do. Now take your Snoopy ornament and shove it.” (I actually found the Snoopy ornament in the trash in the bathroom during the party. Even I know it’s good manners to take your unwanted gift home before throwing it out.)

So the sad sweater sits, un-PC and unloved. Will the sweater end up donated this year? Probably not. I expect I’ll die one day and my family will hold it up and for a moment and forget their grief that I am gone as they say “Why in the hell was this still in her closet?” Oh, and the cat broke the limited edition hand blown glass Bavarian bell with the silver clapper ornament (which is why plastic Snoopy wins over hand blown glass when you have a cat and a Christmas tree).

…update…this year I pulled the sweater out of the closet and decided to wear it. I have to admit the shoulder pads bothered me a lot! I haven’t worn shoulder pads in years! It got a lot of chuckles, especially Pepe and the poor cat!