When to Employ the F-Bomb (Or, How to Respond to Bullies)

(By a guest blogger) I actually woke up with my eyes leaking because I had a dream that I was bullied in the seventh grade. It actually happened in real life and I thought I was so over it. I switched schools from a friendly, small, secular private school to a hostile, large and Catholic school. Being in the seventh grade is probably horridly awkward for most people. We blossom huge zits, we have braces and we go through puberty. I was in the same boat as everyone.

Playing the piano. I'm about 12.

Playing the piano. I’m about 12.

Going back in time, before seventh grade, I had been a popular girl at a public elementary school. My BFF was the head honcho of Popular Girls, Inc. and I accepted her friendship because she was really nice, funny and smart. The problem was that most of the other popular girls were extremely catty, and I did not like it. Seriously, one girl who wasn’t as popular as she thought she should be said to me privately, “I’m cuter, nicer and smarter than you, so why do you get to be popular and I don’t?” I replied, “Obviously people don’t think so, and the reason you are not popular is because you want it too much.” And it’s true. Girls can sniff out desperation. In the fourth or fifth grade, I broke off my friendship with the girls because I wanted a more drama-free life. I became BFF with Beth, who had every right to rule the school, but she didn’t want to. Which makes her the awesomest girl ever. Anyway, I fell down a peg of the schoolgirl hierarchy by choice. It was the “nice popular-ish girls but not as popular as Popular Girls, Inc.” class. I liked it.

So that’s why the popularity plummet was so harsh. In the seventh grade, the bullying got so bad that I didn’t have a single friend, not even the Freaks and GeeksTM. Nobody. The boys kept saying that I walked like a monkey (???), probably because my scoliosis caused me a lot of back pain. I guess. The girls kept saying that I was the ugliest thing they ever saw and I believed them. I honestly felt like I was absolutely worthless. I grew sullen and mute and tried to pretend  this life was someone else’s and I was just trapped inside them and observing. Even the “nice” girl said to me, “I don’t usually bully people, but with you it’s so much fun!” Then a teacher passed by and caught the conversation and started laughing and said, “That is so true! Sorry, Sallie Kate, but you’re stuck with it for the rest of your school career.” It was that bad.

Then there was the first time I said the F word. We had a seventh grade lunch table, so I sat down at the only available seat and started to eat. A girl came up to my place and kept repeating, “Get up and sit somewhere else, ugly.” I ignored her but she would not give up. That’s when I gently put my fork down, looked at her, smiled and said, “Go fuck yourself.”  I picked up my fork and resumed eating my lunch. That moment made me feel awesome. Some girls looked at me with awe and respect, although my life just went back to being bullied.

At the end of the year, the priest/headmaster called me into his office. He went on about I should come back next year. At the end of his spiel, I simply said, “I’m a child who’s being bullied and adults should stop it, but they are joining in.” He then said, “But you need to come back next year and stand up to them!” I simply replied, “No” and walked out of the room. The next year I went back to public school and normalcy returned.

I was no different from the other girls. I was thin, athletic, rode horses, had no horrible vices, and looking back, I was not ugly at all. I looked through old pictures of myself when I was in the seventh grade, and I was actually cute. Like, as in, cuter than many popular girls that year, which baffles me, but there you go. I wrote this to plead with people who have school-aged children. Tell your kids to stand up to bullies, no matter how popular the bully is. Nobody should be made to feel worthless like I was.

Categories: Friends, General Stuff!

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5 replies

  1. “Nobody should be made to feel worthless like I was.” So so true. And yet it happens everyday. At school, at work….little bullies grow up to be big bullies. I will never get it. I am so sorry for all you went through and I thank you for sharing this post. ♥ paula

  2. wonderful, thank you for sharing.

  3. Its the fact that sometimes the pretty people are the ones who can get bullied because they feel threaten by how nice and sweet you are. One thing that is not talked about is the fact that pretty people get bullied too. I know it sounds humorous and I may not be using the proper word for it, but it happens. It doesn’t matter how you look like the facts is that is you are not part of the “It Group” then you are tagged. People need to stand to this group who feel like they think that their world is their oyster. Every generation seems to be getting worse and worse. Its funny I wasn’t that popular in high school, but i was more popular in college than anything else. I know what it was like to be bullied because I didn’t have the great awesome clothes like some of these other cooler kids. I was poor and trust me I got into a lot of fight. Good for you to standing to these bullies and tell others to do the same.

  4. I wish every victim of bullying was as strong as you.

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